Hints, Allegations, and Things best left Unsaid

It’s getting dark outside, here where i am, and heavy, gray clouds are rolling from the East.

The air is thick and wet, and at any moment the sky could tear itself open and wash down upon the ground.

I’m safely inside. Out of the storm. At least in a physical sense.

Thousands of kilometres away, life trudges forward. Shit happens. All of which is outside my control, and beyond my understanding.

After all the chaos of the day dies down, the quiet moments in between each deep sigh remind us of how deeply we can feel the words said in haste and from anger.

The ups, and downs, and sides to sides that occupy this gauntlet we live through, seeks to bruise us, batter us, and leave us exhausted and worn. And then we get up and do it all over again.

We have to really live with the consequences of our actions. Not just pay them lip service. Not just say “we have to live with this”, but take it in, embrace it, and be willing to accept it for all of the heartache it will mean.

There is a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path, and either way is a test for our collective soul.

But i can’t pretend to know what any of you are thinking, or feeling, or knowing, or living through, if you don’t say anything until it’s too late.

I am only a drop, in an infinite ocean of drops. I am a leaf on the wind. I am myself, at the best of times, and the worst of times, still just myself.

And i am sorry if that just isn’t good enough. Because it is all I have to offer.

Nobody Puts My Baby In The Corner

Let me be perfectly clear:

There is no force, inside or outside of this Universe, that will ever affect me so strongly, in any manner or form, as to cause me to turn my back on my wife.

She is the single greatest thing to have ever happened to me.

Like, fucking literally.

Don’t get me wrong: I love our children.  They are frantic, wonderful little creatures of tremendous energy and spirit. They often piss me off. But that’s ok. They are kids, not terrorists, for fucks sake.

Without Her, however, there would be no point.

This shouldn’t be something (any of) you SPECIFICALLY need to be reminded about. Although I suppose it doesn’t hurt to listen. If (any of) you can afford the time to come down off that high horse you have shoved up your ass(es).

This is my proverbial rooftop, and motherfucker(s), I am most definitely shouting.

Because there is nothing I hate more, than some asshole who assumes that he (or she) suggests otherwise.

Nobody knows better than me, just how much more my life is worth, with Her as a part of it.

She is ALL I need.

Everything else gets to wait in line.

A Month of Somedays…..

Sorry. I’ve been out of the loop a bit.

The coffee is pretty good. The scenery, delightful. The internet: not so great.

But quietly approaching 30 days of naught, and I’m still looking for a place to happen.

I’m not intentionally obtuse, I just can’t tell you anything.

But it does cause my mind to cast off to far away shores, where the comfortably numb are free to pontificate upon the big bad wolf in designer sheepskin shoes, and how hard life is, what with all the free health care and freedom to choose life, or liberty, or the pursuit of tackiness.

Sometimes, just imagine that things are not as convoluted as the script outline says they are.

Consider, if you will, the idea that maybe, just maybe, the farther from home you are, the more it’s the same same.

We are all afraid. We all want love. And the simple things in life, like a cup of good coffee, the sweet caress of a warm hand, or a bellyful of shared laughter counts towards our daily bread, all the more so than anything that fits within the 140 character limit of doom and gloom.

I miss home. I miss what it represents and how it makes me feel. But most of all, the more I see of people at home, wherever they are, the more I reminded of why i am here. For now, at least.

Someday soon, it will be just another day. And then I will be home again, home again. Jiggity jig.

Parts Uknown

The last two months have been a whirlwind.

I won’t say why or how, but it has been a challenge.

It still is a challenge.

I find myself, now, in a different place, literally and figuratively, and I’m not exactly sure that I’m ok with it. 

But I’m dealing.

First, I put one foot in, I take one foot out, I put another foot in, and shake it all about. Lather, rinse and repeat.

I can only do this one day at a time. I am nowhere near anything that I recognize or am familiar with, but I can’t focus on that.

One day at a time. Messages home in a digital bottle. Distractions during the downtime.

Hopefully, at some point, this will all come to an end, and I’ll be back where I belong.

Until then, chin up, eyes on the prize, and take in the reality of parts unknown.

Desparately Seeking Soothing

Hi. How are ya?

Well, enough about you.

I’ve been busy.

Too busy, apparently, to drag my neanderthalish fingers across the touch screen to delight and entice my stalwart readership with my stirling demeanor and rapey wit.

Sorry.

On a brighter note, I have discovered a few things some of you may know.

First: I can be an asshole. Again, sorry.

B: Kobo has this cool self-publishing dooey on their site. I haven’t used it yet, but eventually, I will learn the whole alphabet and give it a whirl. Here’s the link: Kobo – Writing Life

iii) Writing Prompts @ Reddit. This is my new favourite subreddit. It’s how my writing brain goes to the gym instead of sitting around writing about chips and beer.

I will, of course, endeavor to pop by here and do my diligence. If I remember.

Because I really do feel better after I’ve made an honest effort at writing something. I feel the same way after going to the gym for my body too.

Trippy.

April-priate Foolishness

One Month.

I went an entire month with nothing to say.

A lot happened.

There was more snow.

A week spent in luxury with my good lady wife.

My daughter turned 10.

We overcame some big personal hurdles.

Something something Ukraine. Oh, please.  Crimea river.

New month. New plans. Still no ideas.

Theres a lot in the pipeline heading my way shortly.

Theres been a lot of neurons firing, and pathways forming, and concepts building.

My brain feels like it’s been marathon training.

My body, quite the opposite.

But the mercury is rising. And the big melt is on.

Our space brothers conspire by committee. Fists and fingers wave disappointedly across the aisles, across borders, across the airwaves.

2014 is now in full swing.

We will return shortly to your regularly scheduled blogcasting.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being Human

Tragedy and Triumph.

Cats and Dogs.

Wookies and Pedia.

Life is all about conflict and the ever evolving sphere of our experiential development.

We are stubborn. And resistant to change.

Mostly we are afraid to ask for help.

Or tell the truth. And be ok with it.

It takes a long and winding road of frustration and hurt feelings before we finally recognize that, upon accepting our reality for what it is, and embracing the fragile, dented reflection in the mirror as our own, we can finally begin to heal.

And maybe, just maybe, give ourselves a bit of a break from the heartache.

We are a cosmos of individuals, all rowing in opposite directions, divided by our fear of being alone.

But we don’t have to be.

I know I’m not. Now.

And guess what?

Neither are you.

Because I got your back.

– BOOM goes the dynamite –

In your face, stupid bad days.

Shout out to HBG @ http://hexbegone.blogspot.ca/

It’s all fun and games til someone loses their dignity…..

Olympics.

Oh-limp-pics.

Oli Mpegs.

I digress. Apparently I have a face that digresses. Again.

So the Olympics are on.

That venerable pasttime where nations pit their brightest and best against each other in the spirit of competition and sportsmanship.

We’ve had some real challenges. Doping scandals. Scandals about dope. Herculean spectacles of advertising and money making. Terrorist attacks and political action.

A true mirror to our long-suffering interdependency.

It’s 2014. And the Olympics are in Sochi, Russia.

Tensions are high. All eyes are glaring. Conditions are less than ideal. The climate is like chilled vodka in a frosty glass.

I see what I did there.

And still, the athletes perform like gods. Amazing feats of dexterity and coordination. Wonderful displays of patriotism and teamwork.

And heartwarming visuals of solidarity across boundaries large and small.

Back home, the political benchwarmers squabble over what flags to fly. Like their opinions matter.

Because, they say, the Olympics are about the very elite of a country’s physical magicians, those finely honed and trained persons of exquisite strength and character.

It’s their chance to shine.

And the powers that wanna-be will tell you it has nothing to do with a persons preferred lifestyle choice.

And you know what?

They are absolutely right.

It’s 2014. The Olympics are in Sochi, Russia.

And what people do behind closed doors with each other, in the name of love, lust or passing fancy, has no bearing on their ability to win gold, silver or bronze.

Or, as it happens, to do just about anything else you or I might have a hankering to do in our everyday lives.

So fly the fucking colours, mate. All the colours of the rainbow.

If you don’t like it, you shouldn’t have put The Rings on it.

Baby, it’s cold outside….but don’t take my word for it!

I have been tremendously lazy. Rant over.

Sorry. I lied.

I actually have been lazy.

I say actually a lot.

As recompense, it has snowed. A LOT. Buckets of sand and ice melt sigh disdainfully at us as we free the pavement from a white, frigid grave. Again.

Life does not currently have a dislike button. But if it did, it would be buried, likely.

Winter and I are currently at loggerheads. Our people are talking. Not to each other, mind you. They are shaking their fists and beating their chests like great hairy apes arguing over the serving of a well-risen souffle.

Yeah, that one kind of got away from me. Which is weird, because where would I get the milk?

Anyways, it makes me lazy. And now I have a cold.

All motivation has leaked out of me like a runny nose on parade.

It’s gross, I know, but we are all human, for the most part, and we leak equally. If you catch my drift.

Its funny how my topics are usually multi-pronged.

We leak fluids. We hemorage emotions. We burst forth with eruptive opinions.

And we spew forth into the ether, our fears, insecurities and our true thoughts. We shovel our heavy burdens out into the world, clearing a path from our hearts to our brains, leaving room to enough to turn and run, should we need to beat a hasty retreat.

Funny thing, about when we think our thoughts, or clear away the frosty remains of a cold night, and blow our noses.

We sometimes forget about what might actually come out.

Speaking of which –

Time to make a tissue dance…….