Who Am I?

I am not a monologue. I am not The Dude, playing a dude, disguised as another dude. I am neither the Alfalfa, nor the Oregano.

I am a husband, a father, a poet, a prophet. I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death and fear no evil, for my Lightsaber and my Sonic Screwdriver, they comfort me. I talk trash to the voices in my head. I break dance with ghosts. I sometimes, not always, but just maybe look just like you.

I pee standing up. And sitting down.

I walk on all fours, fives and sixes. Why? Because seven eight nine.

I believe in a Greater Thing-y-ness. A wibbly wobbly, timey wimey kind of glow in the dark fizz. It goes ding when theres stuff.

I have an open mind, and an open hand. And I will slap a bitch if it’s needed.

I believe in the everlasting nature of trees. I like the feel of water. I admit to thinking outside the box. I use both sides of my brain, because it’s bigger on the inside.

I have committed most of the seven deadly sins, broken a few of the 10 Commandments, and occasionally, I acknowledge Rule 34.

Most of all, I am really glad you just showed up. It means a lot.

Be excellent to each other. Party on, dudes. So long and thanks for all the fish.