Prepare by washing your hands of everything.

Get a vessel, roughly human sized proportions.

Fill it up most of the way with water. Tap water is fine so long as it has been boiled.

Dump in a few cups of mud. Stir and let it thicken.

Take a large uncooked eye of round roast, and set it just inside the top.

Seal the contents using a complicated method shown in diagram A.

Tools needed include a vaccuum cleaner, a small rodent and 80000 watts of ungrounded electricity.

Give vessel good swift kick in the ass.

Voila!

You have just become God.

Never underestimate the power of stupidity.

Diagram A: See User Pic

KJ Rath May 2005