Prepare by washing your hands of everything.
Get a vessel, roughly human sized proportions.
Fill it up most of the way with water. Tap water is fine so long as it has been boiled.
Dump in a few cups of mud. Stir and let it thicken.
Take a large uncooked eye of round roast, and set it just inside the top.
Seal the contents using a complicated method shown in diagram A.
Tools needed include a vaccuum cleaner, a small rodent and 80000 watts of ungrounded electricity.
Give vessel good swift kick in the ass.
You have just become God.
Never underestimate the power of stupidity.
Diagram A: See User Pic
KJ Rath May 2005