Category Archives: Funny Weird

I Stream the Body Electric….

I have an unhealthy relationship with Netflix.

Hang on. Let me start at the beginning.

So like 5 years ago, we nixed cable/satellite as a source of entertainment, primarily due to cost, but also to stave off the bad habits we as a family were developing.

You know. Glued to the set for far too long throughout the day.

Skip to the end – We started using the streaming, digital version of Netflix probably about 2 years ago.

Man, those 3 movies and 2 tv shows were awesome.

I digress. I do that a lot.

Today, the majority of our recreational viewing is via Netflix. Which is ok, because it’s still waaaayyy cheaper than the alternative.

Here’s the problem.

No commercials.

I know, right??

What is my problem?

Here it is: Commercials would compel me to either a) switch channels, or b) get up and do something else, out of hatred for commercials.

Now we burn through tv shows, documentaries, movies of all kinds (that we’d never known existed) like some sort of tweaked out speed freaks.

It’s a bad habit.

And the worst thing of all?

You can never find the things you ACTUALLY want to watch, so you settle for something less than ideal.

Oh. My. God.

I’m paying for a video rental store.

I feel so dirty…….

Yo Dawg, I heard you like philosophical meanderings of an introspective nature….

I have a morbid fascination with the concept of time. Our complete obedience and subjugation to it, perceived or otherwise.

We are all time-travellers, after a fashion, we are just travelling forward. Albeit very, VERY slowly. And the impact we have on events can’t be felt or acknowledged as it occurs, but much later. It’s like the worst plot ever for a science fiction film.

We live immersed in an ocean of perception and experience. We order those elements into finite cubes that make sense to our three dimensional brain. We stack those cubes in orders of importance or priority, giving preference to those cubes we cherish more.

And everyday, we are stacking. We stack them in groups, or pairs, or in great conglomerations with those we love. The cubes grow and shrink in number and size. They stretch out towards the horizon. They fit inside our pocketses. They hide us, define us, catch us by surprise on a daily basis like Pikka Birds at sunrise.

We tend to them with loving, fretful vigilance. We are patient, and terrified. And the time just sidles by.

So another cube I place. Another stone to step on. Another marker for the miles.

It’s funny. We spend so much time waiting for things, and then when things happen, we wonder what the rush was. The new reality “You” looks back and says “Well of course this is what it feels like, what did you expect?”.

You know what they say.

Wherever you go, there you are.

(Facepalm) Past Me is waving at Future Me like an idiot. Everyone’s watching. It’s a little embarrassing.