Category Archives: Um …. Awkward

Humane Society

So the world is going to shit, if you haven’t noticed.

Conflicting reports regarding the treatment by and of Syrian refugees flooding into Europe is a hot topic, and no one seems to know what the right answer is.

ISIS is on the verge of becoming a serious global threat, if you are prone to that kind of pandering.

North America is ignorant and blind to the rest of the world and what is truly going on. The environment is melting around us, the aliens are manipulating our leaders, and pop stars dictate interpersonal ethics.

Apparently, this is the part of those popular movies that describes the early 21st Century as dark, dystopic and fraught with oppression and angst.

There are enough side by side comparisons of modern day Japan and “Blade Runner” to make the point.

Things are bad all over.

Should a persons personal religious beliefs give them accommodations when doing their job? Historically, no. But we aren’t talking about history. We are talking about right now, and right now, the world is quickly filling up with all kinds of fanatics.

Fanaticism is not the sole property of religion, mind you.

We have the 1%, who are fanatical about keeping the economic structure of modern civilization the way it is because, let’s face it, they have all the money.

We have the faceless hordes of the computer savvy and not so savvy operating clandestine operations from behind keyboards, doling out vigilante justice to whomever comes up on their radar.

Corrupt politicians, sketchy police officers, a variety of terrible human traffickers and child exploiters the world over doing whatever the fuck they want, to whomever the fuck they want, whenever the fuck they want.

We have those refusing to do their job according to the law, and being paraded around like rock stars for it. those who can’t do one small task, and are being paraded around like criminals for it. Fake news, fake doctors, fake healthcare and fake help.

This was supposed to be the Golden Age of Humankind, striking out as one voice among the stars. Expanding our knowledge of ourselves in the cosmos, the inner space and the outer space.

What the fuck happened?

When did we lose our humanity? When did we become so terrible to each other that we would willingly tear down someone elses’ life because we didn’t agree with it?

When did cops – ALL cops – become the bad guy?

When did PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY become a hateful thing to say, let alone become an unpleasant aspect of life?

When did our society become so inhumane?

And how the fuck can we fix it?

Because I really don’t know. And I really, really want to.

Or else we are fucked.

Obligatory Blog Post

I haven’t been on here much, and for that, I can only say  – so what?

I suppose it’s like that old addage “If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all”.

Or in my case “If you have nothing useful to say, no one is going to notice”.

I digress.

So, in the interests of waxing my own philosophic symbol, here are some funny things to ponder that I came up with when i typed it.

1) All people look funny when on the toilet.

2) When you get a song stuck in your head you hate, why not sing a different song?

3) In 2015, we are still more concerned about what other people are doing, and why it’s wrong, than education, or healthcare.

4) Despite all the terrible things human beings do to the world and each other, a dog will still ultimately trust an outstretched hand.

5) Look at a person in front of you. Now they are on the toilet. They do look funny, don’t they.

6) Why does no one in a zombie apocalypse movie go to a Bulk Barn?

7) What if Netflix is Skynet’s Final Solution?

8) As I typed that, the power went out in my neighbourhood, for one minute. Just let that sink in.

9) The bottled water industry is an elaborate charade to use up the left over Crystal Pepsi stock – one can for every skid of bottled water.

10) The person in front of you is still straining.

If you think this was great, just wait the Eleventy-Ninth of Procteebler, when I write about that thing behind you on the wall.

It’s A Wonderful Life, Usually….

‘Tis the season for sharing and caring.

All the trimmings and customs come out from the woodwork to nestle themselves among the nooks and crannies of our holiday cheer.

Unless, of course, your personal experience resembles the wreck and ruin of interpersonal thermonuclear detonation.

Family, for the most part, is amazing. A sanctified unit of unconditional love and support, looking out for each other, caring, sharing and generally doing good will towards each other. Ideally, they are the people you have on your zombie apocalypse bug-out plan.

Sometimes though, we are not so lucky. It can be an arduous, difficult process just getting from one day to the next, trying to find a small patch of common ground somewhere on the scorched earth that was your lives.

We are all individuals, after all, playing at unity.

Best case scenario, you agree to disagree, cut your losses and move on, knowing and understanding the parameters of what your relationship must be from here on out.

Worst case scenario – it’s all over, and no amount of soul searching or wringing of hands will fix it.

You can’t affect their out look. You can’t make them see what they refuse to, and you can’t undo what has been said. And you certainly can’t forget it.

So this season, be extra generous with those still within your circle. Love them, be honest, about everything at all times. Don’t hide what you really feel, but know also that they need to feel safe to do the same.

Being honest can undo almost all damage, before it begins.

But if you wait, and you sit on it, hiding it away, then it might just all blow up in your face.

It’s a wonderful life if you let it be. And no perspective, whether it be prideful or self righteously borne, is worth throwing that life away.

Classic Half Empty or Classic Half Full?

I was given the option of writing this entry using the “easy” method, or I could choose the “classic” mode.

Can you tell the difference?

Yeah, neither can I, from here.

Still, I guess it’s nice to be asked.

There has been a lot of that going around. New and improved, with a nod to what was, if you want.

We just can’t seem to let go of how it used to be. 

We need to have that connection, that ongoing tether through the ether, to days of yore.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m all good with classic mode, but it is nice to change it up once in awhile.

Everything old is new again, and there is nothing new under the sun.

I wonder if maybe all our digitized what-iffing goes somewhere to be cataloged, alphabetized and stacked on neatly dusted shelves.

Like some great candy store store of wonder. Colorful jars filled with the soft chewy concepts of our purpose and our intentions…..

Overseen and tended to by a kindly old guy in a pristine white smock……

Woah….

Did I just invent God?

HA! 

That’s hilarious. Me inventing God.

That is Classic Me, all the way.

Eyes And Ears…..And All That Jazz…..

Let me lay it down for you, real easy like.

Children should be seen and not heard.

That’s an old adage that is probably older in practice than we realize.

And it is complete bull-shit.

Here’s why:

Children generally have no filter. They have no concept, in the beginning, of behaviors and attitudes that we as adults tend employ with each other on a minute by minute basis, depending on our audience.

They can only speak truths, and stop doing that when they learn the trick of deceit from us, you dig?

They are a mirror to our own twisted and misdirected pathway from innocence to guilt. And we don’t like it.

We REALLY don’t like it. We never have. Hence the saying.

How dare a child call us out, and hoist us up on our own petard?

Because they can, and they should. We need to be reminded every once in awhile that, as adults or as parents, we aren’t always right. We aren’t always correct. And we don’t always know what we are talking about.

It’s also ok to be wrong. And for our children to see us accepting the fact that we can be wrong.

If they never see it, they’ll never believe it.

Until it happens. In a big way. And their whole world changes in the blink of an eye.

All because, apparently, they should have been seen and not heard.

The correct version of that old adage is of course the obvious:

Children SHOULD be seen, AND heard.

But also:

Parents should watch, and listen.

Stop, Look and Listen, Baby. That’s MY philosophy.

Alright, so Elvis isn’t exactly synonymous with jazz, but you can pick up what I’m laying down, right?

Solid.

Resistance is Fruitful

Holy. Effing. Eff.

(I’m trying to curb my substantial swearing habit)

I did it!

I unhooked from the Big Blue Monster!

For seven long years, my main source of information regarding any and all goings on in my neck of the woods, beckoned to me like a Hollywood marquee.

Picture albums. Casual events. Random posts.

Likety Like like like.

Great epochs of time and energy spent as part of the little social engine that could.

But when reality spills over the sides of our little Ark of conformity, and soaks us where we live, it’s time to take stock of what is most important.

And Facebook just ain’t on that list.

For 50, 000 years our civilization survived without it. I think I can manage the next 40 or so.

And like any good addict can tell you, giving up the juice is easy.

Staying off is the hard part.

Here’s to Day One of being clean.

All Apologies

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry we don’t seem to get along right now.

I’m sorry my expectations are too high.

I’m sorry if the words that I choose are frustrating and annoying to you.

It was never my intention to cause more harm than good.

But it seems I have been totally wrong.

Wrong about how I view the world.

Wrong about how I interact with it.

Wrong about how I feel.

Wrong to say so.

I’m sorry.

I guess maybe the trick is to not be so inflexible.

Sure, we are all raised, and/or grow up with a certain catalogue of values we try to live by. But it’s usually the accepted practice to let things slide a bit, when it comes to family.

We give leeway. We oblige. We shrug our shoulders and shake our heads, chuckling quietly to ourselves.

Because it’s different with family. We should allow them to let us down, or rail against us with abandon, and let it go because we are blood.

After all, it’s only what we believe in. It only really matters when we show it to other people. We don’t actually have to live by our beliefs or anything.

Our families deserve a bypass on the tough calls.

That’s just the way it is.

Apparently.

I’m sorry.

Parts Uknown

The last two months have been a whirlwind.

I won’t say why or how, but it has been a challenge.

It still is a challenge.

I find myself, now, in a different place, literally and figuratively, and I’m not exactly sure that I’m ok with it. 

But I’m dealing.

First, I put one foot in, I take one foot out, I put another foot in, and shake it all about. Lather, rinse and repeat.

I can only do this one day at a time. I am nowhere near anything that I recognize or am familiar with, but I can’t focus on that.

One day at a time. Messages home in a digital bottle. Distractions during the downtime.

Hopefully, at some point, this will all come to an end, and I’ll be back where I belong.

Until then, chin up, eyes on the prize, and take in the reality of parts unknown.

April-priate Foolishness

One Month.

I went an entire month with nothing to say.

A lot happened.

There was more snow.

A week spent in luxury with my good lady wife.

My daughter turned 10.

We overcame some big personal hurdles.

Something something Ukraine. Oh, please.  Crimea river.

New month. New plans. Still no ideas.

Theres a lot in the pipeline heading my way shortly.

Theres been a lot of neurons firing, and pathways forming, and concepts building.

My brain feels like it’s been marathon training.

My body, quite the opposite.

But the mercury is rising. And the big melt is on.

Our space brothers conspire by committee. Fists and fingers wave disappointedly across the aisles, across borders, across the airwaves.

2014 is now in full swing.

We will return shortly to your regularly scheduled blogcasting.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

It’s all fun and games til someone loses their dignity…..

Olympics.

Oh-limp-pics.

Oli Mpegs.

I digress. Apparently I have a face that digresses. Again.

So the Olympics are on.

That venerable pasttime where nations pit their brightest and best against each other in the spirit of competition and sportsmanship.

We’ve had some real challenges. Doping scandals. Scandals about dope. Herculean spectacles of advertising and money making. Terrorist attacks and political action.

A true mirror to our long-suffering interdependency.

It’s 2014. And the Olympics are in Sochi, Russia.

Tensions are high. All eyes are glaring. Conditions are less than ideal. The climate is like chilled vodka in a frosty glass.

I see what I did there.

And still, the athletes perform like gods. Amazing feats of dexterity and coordination. Wonderful displays of patriotism and teamwork.

And heartwarming visuals of solidarity across boundaries large and small.

Back home, the political benchwarmers squabble over what flags to fly. Like their opinions matter.

Because, they say, the Olympics are about the very elite of a country’s physical magicians, those finely honed and trained persons of exquisite strength and character.

It’s their chance to shine.

And the powers that wanna-be will tell you it has nothing to do with a persons preferred lifestyle choice.

And you know what?

They are absolutely right.

It’s 2014. The Olympics are in Sochi, Russia.

And what people do behind closed doors with each other, in the name of love, lust or passing fancy, has no bearing on their ability to win gold, silver or bronze.

Or, as it happens, to do just about anything else you or I might have a hankering to do in our everyday lives.

So fly the fucking colours, mate. All the colours of the rainbow.

If you don’t like it, you shouldn’t have put The Rings on it.