Somewhere, in some parallel universe, there is a version of me fastidiously hammering out golden streams of intellectual honeydew, blogging and tweeting to the throbbing masses, plucking snickers-level wordy goodness right out of the air.

Day in, as well as day out, this faster, sleeker, dare i say “streamlined” version of my very own self is manic and feverish, unleashing his critical think-funk upon the interweblets, undeterred by the regular life stuff tripping him up.

He is a virtuoso at time management. He is connected and tuned in. He is the epitome of bluetooth/wireless/virtual excellence. He is all of these things, and for good measure, keeps a potato peeler in his back pocket.

I happen to outshine him in two respects.

First, I am slightly funnier.

and secondly, I am way gooder with words and stuff.

I’ll try to be here more often.