I haven’t been on here much, and for that, I can only say  – so what?

I suppose it’s like that old addage “If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all”.

Or in my case “If you have nothing useful to say, no one is going to notice”.

I digress.

So, in the interests of waxing my own philosophic symbol, here are some funny things to ponder that I came up with when i typed it.

1) All people look funny when on the toilet.

2) When you get a song stuck in your head you hate, why not sing a different song?

3) In 2015, we are still more concerned about what other people are doing, and why it’s wrong, than education, or healthcare.

4) Despite all the terrible things human beings do to the world and each other, a dog will still ultimately trust an outstretched hand.

5) Look at a person in front of you. Now they are on the toilet. They do look funny, don’t they.

6) Why does no one in a zombie apocalypse movie go to a Bulk Barn?

7) What if Netflix is Skynet’s Final Solution?

8) As I typed that, the power went out in my neighbourhood, for one minute. Just let that sink in.

9) The bottled water industry is an elaborate charade to use up the left over Crystal Pepsi stock – one can for every skid of bottled water.

10) The person in front of you is still straining.

If you think this was great, just wait the Eleventy-Ninth of Procteebler, when I write about that thing behind you on the wall.