Author Archives: sinistersuperspy

Insane in the brain…….

Two points:

1) I mean A) I really dislike headaches.

B) sorry, 2) I also don’t enjoy crowds.

In regards to the primary article, for some reason, I’ve been wrestling with an inordinate number of them lately.

Which sucks balls.

Not that at anytime could a headache be misconstrued as enjoyable. Unless you are in to that sort of thing. I, personally, am not.

Water. Food. Caffeine.

Nothing seems to be helpful.

I don’t like taking Tylenol as a rule. So like any red-blooded male, I stubbornly suffer through it.

Although, now that I think about it, that’s probably a fairly stupid approach. Mostly due to the fact it doesn’t work. Like, ever.

As far my second point goes, I need to clarify.

I don’t mind small gatherings. One-on-one visits with friends or close family members is fine. Mall-going throngs are not my cup of tea. It makes my teeth itch.

They tend to lead to an increased amount of stress, frustration and headaches.

Wow. I literally didn’t see that coming.

My overarching theme here is unexpected and unwanted …stuff.

It isn’t fun. I will sometimes have to deal with both at inopportune times, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. Because I don’t.

Also they totally screwed up our order at Starbucks.

Ow. My head.

Do Not Want.

Words, Words, Words….

I got a present today from my wife.

I wasnt quite prepared for how it made me feel.

Everyday or so, I try to jot down a few witty phrases or discombobulated strings of words to highlight where my brain has been.

Apparently, my wife thinks I’m funny.

I appreciate her (check earlier blogpost re: this) for her appreciation of my humour.

I’m not that funny, IMO. Moderately giggle-worth, perhaps. Occasionally haw haw-ish.

But the gift was a collection of my words,  peppered with hilarious quotes by my children, accented here and there in coloured text.

It is pretty fantastic.

There is also a frame.

Which means she wants to see it up on the wall for others to see, snicker at, chuckle upon and enjoy.

As I said – I wasnt prepared.

The gift was wonderful.

My wife, however, is irreplaceable.

Lotto 649 can suck it.

2. 4. 6. 8…..

Life is tricky. It is often more work than you are expecting.

Just when you think you have a handle on things, you don’t.

Try not to be uncertain.

Don’t give in to fear.

Avoid arm wrestling the green-eyed monster in the corner of your mind.

Follow your gut.

Listen to your heart.

Trust your instincts.

And always, ALWAYS tell her you appreciate her.

You are nowhere and no one without her.

Clutter Fuss or, Kung-Fu Feng Shui for Dummies

It happened again.

I don’t know if it’s some kind of growing OCD tumesence or what, but it is getting annoying. And painful.

We reorganized the living room/dining room. Folded all the laundry.  Swept. Tidied the games.

You know,  good old fashioned family bonding activities.

I think the issue is we have to much stuff.

Or, more appropriately, we don’t have enough space for our stuff.

Invariably,  I sit and sulk because I don’t like the way in which the room I happen to be sitting in is laid out.

Eventually, rather than pick one square meter to work on, I dive head first into a massive block-sized reorg that takes up most of the day or night or weekend, and leaves me with a sore back.

A really sore back.

I guess its good that the result is a room i can sit in and enjoy.

I can sit in my recliner, gaze out the window and imagine a time when I may not have to stress about clutter and mess and disorganization.

Of course now I can’t get out my chair because:

A) my back still hurts

&

B) there’s another basket of unfolded laundry caught under the foot rest.

Well, shit.

What a cluster fuck.

No Sense Crying Over Perhaps The Milk…..

Late night snacks are a slippery slope.

It is generally considered a bad idea to eat before bed.

But if you must – and I usually do –  its best to have something light yet filling.

My second oldest son was nice enough to get me a bowl of corn flakes.

In doing so, he promtply drowned the fucking flakes.

Like full on capsized the poor little things.

There were screams. Entire clans of corn flakes flailing uselessly against the milky surf.

I am now eating a larger portion than previously planned.

Slippery.  Slope.

Baby Steps

In the beginning, there are big ideas. Big hopes. Big dreams.

We don’t quite know how it will all play out, but we step forward bravely. Tentative, cautious, curious.

Sometimes, it doesn’t go our way. We learn from these missteps. We try again.

This is where we take our baby steps.

Short. Uncertain steps.

But they don’t last forever.

Because as we go along, taking our baby steps, we become more sure, more confident.  More certain.

And soon, we don’t take any steps at all.

We fly.

Pitter patter. Let’s get at ‘er.

General Malais, Reporting For Duty

I remembered what I dislike most about winter.

Sorry. Yes, in case you weren’t sure, it is in fact, now winter.  That snow never melted.

So as I was saying, dislike.

A severe lack of desire to do anything.

Now, I don’t necessarily think its seasonal affective disorder. Or at least I am not yet willing to entertain that notion.

I do think it is mostly laziness.

So, as a means to combat this and other related stresses, my wife and I are embarking on a new venture.

Tomorrow.

Ideally, this intention will brighten our moods, decrease our waist size and hopefully extend the length our lives.

I hope this time it sticks.

I’d like to feel better soon.

Silence is Off-Ochre…

There are occasions every so often, when a person has nothing compelling to say.

There are also times when people don’t know when to shut up.

I like to think I’ve developed a keen sense of diplomacy and sharp observational skills that enable me to ascertain the potential for these disastrous and uncomfortable situations, and hopefully, the wherewithal to avoid them.

Sometimes, that isn’t the case.

Today, however, I think I might be “in the zone”, so to speak.

So, in light of the above statements, I’m going to leave you with this parting bit of wisdom:

If you’re the only one talking in a room full of awkward silence, you might want to take a hint.

Nighty-night.